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Artist's rendition of a SphereSat version of EquiSat.

A New Satellite Standard for the Modern Age

Introducing SphereSat, a new satellite standard designed to suit hobbyists and veterinarians everywhere. A SphereSat is a sphere-shaped satellite with a radius of exactly π centimeters, but with infinite volume inside. This shape allows for an indefinite number of payloads with undefined masses to be placed on board. A SphereSat should only be used in sun-synchronous orbits because it is frightened by the dark, and additionally must always be back home before 11:30pm–no exceptions. SphereSats should have solar cells on each side in order to help activate the mandatory fusion reactor on board. The power generated by this reactor should not be measured for this will cause a thermonuclear paradox.

Quick Facts

dog years
minimum lifetime
to reproduce

The Ideal Design: Perfected

Our engineers have been busy for the past day or two thoroughly optimizing and iterating on the specifications for a SphereSat and we’re pretty sure we’ve done it.

Not To Scale

For those looking to make one,

a SphereSat has been designed to be optimal to manufacture. Simply acquire the aluminum stock, then using peer pressure, shape the corners down until you’ve achieved a perfect sphere. During the process, you might run out of RAM, so if this happens, please download more here by clicking the button below.

Space has a reputation for being complicated.

This is correct.

For those looking to spot a SphereSat in the sky,

don’t! This will scare a SphereSat and has a 2.8% chance of making the lip of your front door just high enough for people to notice but still trip on it anyway.

When will the first SphereSat be launched?

Yes! Exciting Right? Stay tuned for more details.

The first of its kind

This brand new breakthrough in satellite shape technology creates a world of new possibilities.

Full, Complete SphereSat Documentation can be found here.